The Book Magnet: The Lad Lit Blog Tour

Well this is something a bit different. I have to admit that I wasn't aware of the existence of Lad Lit, so many thanks to Steven Scaffardi and his laugh out loud books, The Drought and The Flood, for introducing me to the genre. The Lad Lit Blog Tour is a gargantuan tour with no fewer than 39 stops, and I am delighted to be one of them.

There are so many great characters in the book but my favourite has to be Ollie as he's so innocent in his hilarious observations. I asked Steven Scaffardi if he wouldn't mind putting a few questions to Ollie, so read on for some cracking answers.

So Ollie, tell us a little about yourself.

Hi Michelle, thanks for having me! I don’t normally get to do these public speaking thingy’s. Jack always tells me I don’t have the vocadbury to have a proper conversation. I don’t know why he always laughs at me and offers me a Dairy Milk chocolate bar when I say that, but there are a lot of things Jack does that I don’t really understand. Anyway, back to me! What can I tell you about myself? Well, I’m a postman and I recently joined LinkedIn so I could connect with all of my clients. Only two have accepted so far, but that’s pretty good. When I’m not delivering the post, you can normally find me in the pub.

You're a really close knit group of 4 guys who seem to get on really well; can you briefly describe your 3 friends?

Rob is like the leader of our little gang. He’s a bloody good looking bloke, and he’s brilliant to have around when you’re trying to chat up the ladies. I normally send him in first and then take whatever is left. Jack is my best friend. We’ve known each other since Primary School. He’s quite cocky though. I am allowed to say cocky, right? Oh that’s good. And then you have Dan. He’s a great guy. Shit with the ladies, but a great guy.

How do you think the group dynamic changed with the introduction of firstly Ieuan and then the girls, Steph and Shaila, from Dan's work?

I really like Ieuan, and since he has come along, it’s taken the heat off me a little as Jack now has two people to take the piss out of. It used to just be me. And he even takes the piss for no reason. You know that documentary about the old American President that came out a few years ago? You know, the one about the guy with the beard who fought all those monsters? Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter! That one. Well, Jack is always laughing at me for liking that documentary, but at least I know my history!

And the night I met Steph and Shaila was really special. I really like Steph. She’s super smart, and we’re always talking about things like religion and politics. Talking of which, you know that programme Question Time? Jack told me there would be nudity in that programme, but I haven’t seen any yet. I’ll keep watching though because you never know.

You often seem to be the butt of your friends' jokes – what part do you think you play in the group?

What are you talking about? I’m not the butt of their jokes. I’m no one’s butt. I’m more of the silent thinker type. But I’m also the one who can down 10 pints and still walk straight for the rest of the evening. Pretty cool eh?

Who is your ideal woman and what would be your best chat up line when you meet her?

I don’t really do chat-up lines – that is more a Jack thing. But I have to say that when I go back to a girl’s house for the night, there are two things I insist on – a cooked breakfast in the morning and a lift home. My ideal women would probably be Dawn French. Bigger women are always more appreciative and put in a bit more effort.

Who do you get on best within the group and why?

Even though he always takes the mickey out of me, Jack is my best friend. We’re a bit like Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny DeVito from that film Twins. Jack hates it when I compare him to Danny DeVito, but it always gets a good laugh from everyone else. I like all the boys, but I’ve known Jack the longest and he’ll be my best man if Steph ever decides to break up with her boyfriend and get with me.

What was your favourite subject at school?

I really enjoyed maths, but that was mainly because there was a really fit foreign exchange student in our class from Turkey. Her name was Kama Sutra. I’m not sure if I am saying that correct because the boys always laugh at me when I mention her name.

You're currently pursuing a career as a postman; if you could do any job what would it be?

Steph’s boyfriend is a banker, so maybe something smart like that. Steph is really smart too, and I won’t hear a bad word said against her. A few weeks ago Jack said that he had met goats with more brains than Steph. That was a stupid thing to say for two reasons: 1. Where do you even go to meet goats? And 2. It made me so angry that I threw a stress ball at his head and nearly knocked him out.

If you were a superhero, who would you be?

Probably Duffman from The Simpsons because he gets to drink beer all day.

Which Dan did you prefer and which is the real Dan Hilles? Dan in The Drought – the woman repellent or Dan in The Flood – the babe magnet?

The babe magnet?! I’m not sure he’s ever been or ever will be a babe magnet! To me he was the same old Dan in both books. Yes, in The Flood he had a bit more luck, but at what cost? He was dating a stalker, his crazy ex-girlfriend, the office ice queen, and a girl who he has struck out with twice already!

I like to call Dan sexual Kryptonite such is his rubbish performances with the ladies. Don’t get fooled by The Flood – it is the same old Dan. The problem with Dan is that he is just too nice to juggle multiple girls at the same time. I tried to warn him but he wouldn’t listen. As I said to him then – there is nothing wrong with being a nice guy. In fact, some girls like the missionary position all night.

Many thanks to Ollie for answering my questions in his own unique way!

A little bit about the author:

Steven Scaffardi was born in Tooting, south London. A former journalist, The Drought was his first novel and received praise from television personalities and journalists alike, as well as being shortlisted for the Shirley You Jest Book Awards.

In 2011 he spent 12 months on the London open mic stand-up comedy circuit, finishing runner-up in the Golden Jester stand-up comedy competition for his brand of comedy that combined witty observation with self-deprecating humour; incorporating tales of relationships, dealing with life in his 30s, and the situations he encounters as a man.

In March 2016 he created the #LadLitSunday hashtag to promote news about lad lit, before embarking on a 30-date blog tour in April 2016 to raise awareness of the genre.

His second novel, The Flood, is the next instalment in the Sex, Love and Dating Disasters series due for eBook publication on April 30 and paperback release on May 19.

Praise for Steven’s books

“Steven Scaffardi’s first novel is absolutely hilarious and will leave every reader, male or female, laughing out loud.” Chick Lit Plus

“A pleasantly darker alternative to the offerings of Mike Gayle. All hail the arrival of Steven Scaffardi.” Ortis Deley | Television & Radio Presenter

“I laughed so hard I spat my tea out! An absolutely cracking debut novel. Highly recommended!” BestBooksToRead.co.uk

“WARNING - This book will make you cry... with laughter! The perfect gift for the lad in your life!” BCF Book Review

“Witty, well -written, and pulls no punches. Scaffardi has an imaginative mind that needs to be unleashed!” Angellica Bell | Television & Radio Presenter

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