Girl 99 - Andy Jones

Before Tom finds The One, he needs to find himself.

When Tom’s girlfriend walks out on him the day before Christmas, he feels humiliated but not necessarily heartbroken. Sadie wasn’t, after all, The One. If we’re being precise, she was number eighty-five.

Tom’s first mistake is sharing this information with his best friend El. His next mistake is listening when El suggests that he bring his eighty-five up to a nice, neat one hundred.

It was never going to be a good idea, not least because everything else in Tom’s life is in complete chaos. His best friend is dying of a slow and cruel disease, his teenage sister is at war with his well-meaning but dogmatic father, his elderly neighbour is having romantic problems (and makes a dreadful cup of tea), and he has to shoot four commercials with four children and a bad-tempered producer.

And then Tom meets Verity. Whether she’s The One remains to be seen, but she’s certainly more than just another number.

What did I think?

I absolutely loved Andy Jones' debut novel, The Two of Us, so I didn't need to think twice before reaching for a copy of Girl 99.  There's something so very refreshing and appealing about Andy Jones' style of writing; it's so honest and genuine that it feels like the book is talking to you.  Although you don't need to have read The Two of Us to enjoy Girl 99 (but seriously you NEED to read The Two of Us), I was thrilled to see the inimitable character of El make another appearance and welcomed him as if he was an old friend of mine rather than Tom's.

Tom is a very multi-faceted and hilarious character.  On one hand he is a lad's lad but on the other he is a loving part of a very close knit family, a family that is stronger than ever after suffering the devastating loss of Tom's mother when his sister was very young.  Tom has almost taken on the mother role as he acts as intermediary between his Dad and his teenage sister, Bianca.

Tom gets himself into trouble and ends up breaking up with his girlfriend, Sadie, when he admits to kissing a colleague, Holly.  When Sadie is collecting her things from the flat she finds Tom's diary (I know, a man with a diary!) but it's more of a notches on the bed post record than a diary as Sadie sees she is number 85 on Tom's list of conquests.  Furious, she then makes plans to get her revenge and it ends up in a superb custody battle over the Mini Cooper!

When Tom meets his friend, El, for a night out to drown his sorrows, El encourages Tom into a bet that he will make it to 100 ladies before a set deadline.  It's a gamble that Tom willingly accepts and sets off on his quest to hit that magic number, but he didn't gamble on falling in love along the way.

So warm, witty and all-round good fun, Girl 99 is as charming as it is hilarious.  Seeing so many sides of Tom, I thought I would despise him for treating women like a number but that's not who he is underneath.  The way he acts with his family and his elderly neighbour, Doug, shows the strength of character he really has.  Add to this Andy Jones' ability to make me laugh on almost every page and you have a winner of a book; I should have known not to read it whilst eating as I almost choked on my rice salad when reading at lunchtime about Tom's first 'dorty book'.  With hilarious quips about Brighton and Paul Daniels, I could not contain my laughter and I was gutted that I had to stop reading to wipe the tears of laughter from eyes.

Another fabulous book from Andy Jones, who is fast becoming one of my favourite authors.  A recommended read for anyone who loves a good romcom with an emphasis more on the realism of lad-lit than the mushiness of chick-lit.

I chose to read an ARC and this is my honest and unbiased opinion.

My rating:

Buy it from Amazon

The Lad Lit Blog Tour

Well this is something a bit different.  I have to admit that I wasn't aware of the existence of Lad Lit, so many thanks to Steven Scaffardi and his laugh out loud books, The Drought and The Flood, for introducing me to the genre.  The Lad Lit Blog Tour is a gargantuan tour with no fewer than 39 stops, and I am delighted to be one of them.

There are so many great characters in the book but my favourite has to be Ollie as he's so innocent in his hilarious observations.  I asked Steven Scaffardi if he wouldn't mind putting a few questions to Ollie, so read on for some cracking answers.

So Ollie, tell us a little about yourself.

Hi Michelle, thanks for having me! I don’t normally get to do these public speaking thingy’s. Jack always tells me I don’t have the vocadbury to have a proper conversation. I don’t know why he always laughs at me and offers me a Dairy Milk chocolate bar when I say that, but there are a lot of things Jack does that I don’t really understand. Anyway, back to me! What can I tell you about myself? Well, I’m a postman and I recently joined LinkedIn so I could connect with all of my clients. Only two have accepted so far, but that’s pretty good. When I’m not delivering the post, you can normally find me in the pub.

You're a really close knit group of 4 guys who seem to get on really well; can you briefly describe your 3 friends?

Rob is like the leader of our little gang. He’s a bloody good looking bloke, and he’s brilliant to have around when you’re trying to chat up the ladies. I normally send him in first and then take whatever is left. Jack is my best friend. We’ve known each other since Primary School. He’s quite cocky though. I am allowed to say cocky, right? Oh that’s good. And then you have Dan. He’s a great guy. Shit with the ladies, but a great guy.

How do you think the group dynamic changed with the introduction of firstly Ieuan and then the girls, Steph and Shaila, from Dan's work?

I really like Ieuan, and since he has come along, it’s taken the heat off me a little as Jack now has two people to take the piss out of. It used to just be me. And he even takes the piss for no reason. You know that documentary about the old American President that came out a few years ago? You know, the one about the guy with the beard who fought all those monsters? Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter! That one. Well, Jack is always laughing at me for liking that documentary, but at least I know my history!

And the night I met Steph and Shaila was really special. I really like Steph. She’s super smart, and we’re always talking about things like religion and politics. Talking of which, you know that programme Question Time? Jack told me there would be nudity in that programme, but I haven’t seen any yet. I’ll keep watching though because you never know.

You often seem to be the butt of your friends' jokes – what part do you think you play in the group?

What are you talking about? I’m not the butt of their jokes. I’m no one’s butt. I’m more of the silent thinker type. But I’m also the one who can down 10 pints and still walk straight for the rest of the evening. Pretty cool eh?

Who is your ideal woman and what would be your best chat up line when you meet her?

I don’t really do chat-up lines – that is more a Jack thing. But I have to say that when I go back to a girl’s house for the night, there are two things I insist on – a cooked breakfast in the morning and a lift home. My ideal women would probably be Dawn French. Bigger women are always more appreciative and put in a bit more effort.

Who do you get on best within the group and why?

Even though he always takes the mickey out of me, Jack is my best friend. We’re a bit like Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny DeVito from that film Twins. Jack hates it when I compare him to Danny DeVito, but it always gets a good laugh from everyone else. I like all the boys, but I’ve known Jack the longest and he’ll be my best man if Steph ever decides to break up with her boyfriend and get with me.

What was your favourite subject at school?

I really enjoyed maths, but that was mainly because there was a really fit foreign exchange student in our class from Turkey. Her name was Kama Sutra. I’m not sure if I am saying that correct because the boys always laugh at me when I mention her name.

You're currently pursuing a career as a postman; if you could do any job what would it be?

Steph’s boyfriend is a banker, so maybe something smart like that. Steph is really smart too, and I won’t hear a bad word said against her. A few weeks ago Jack said that he had met goats with more brains than Steph. That was a stupid thing to say for two reasons: 1. Where do you even go to meet goats? And 2. It made me so angry that I threw a stress ball at his head and nearly knocked him out.

If you were a superhero, who would you be?

Probably Duffman from The Simpsons because he gets to drink beer all day.

Which Dan did you prefer and which is the real Dan Hilles? Dan in The Drought – the woman repellent or Dan in The Flood – the babe magnet?

The babe magnet?! I’m not sure he’s ever been or ever will be a babe magnet! To me he was the same old Dan in both books. Yes, in The Flood he had a bit more luck, but at what cost? He was dating a stalker, his crazy ex-girlfriend, the office ice queen, and a girl who he has struck out with twice already!

I like to call Dan sexual Kryptonite such is his rubbish performances with the ladies. Don’t get fooled by The Flood – it is the same old Dan. The problem with Dan is that he is just too nice to juggle multiple girls at the same time. I tried to warn him but he wouldn’t listen. As I said to him then – there is nothing wrong with being a nice guy. In fact, some girls like the missionary position all night.

Many thanks to Ollie for answering my questions in his own unique way!

A  little bit about the author:

Steven Scaffardi was born in Tooting, south London. A former journalist, The Drought was his first novel and received praise from television personalities and journalists alike, as well as being shortlisted for the Shirley You Jest Book Awards.

In 2011 he spent 12 months on the London open mic stand-up comedy circuit, finishing runner-up in the Golden Jester stand-up comedy competition for his brand of comedy that combined witty observation with self-deprecating humour; incorporating tales of relationships, dealing with life in his 30s, and the situations he encounters as a man.

In March 2016 he created the #LadLitSunday hashtag to promote news about lad lit, before embarking on a 30-date blog tour in April 2016 to raise awareness of the genre.

His second novel, The Flood, is the next instalment in the Sex, Love and Dating Disasters series due for eBook publication on April 30 and paperback release on May 19.

Praise for Steven’s books

“Steven Scaffardi’s first novel is absolutely hilarious and will leave every reader, male or female, laughing out loud.” Chick Lit Plus

“A pleasantly darker alternative to the offerings of Mike Gayle. All hail the arrival of Steven Scaffardi.” Ortis Deley | Television & Radio Presenter

“I laughed so hard I spat my tea out! An absolutely cracking debut novel. Highly recommended!” BestBooksToRead.co.uk

“WARNING - This book will make you cry... with laughter! The perfect gift for the lad in your life!” BCF Book Review

“Witty, well -written, and pulls no punches. Scaffardi has an imaginative mind that needs to be unleashed!” Angellica Bell | Television & Radio Presenter

Useful links

• Author bio from his blog: http://stevenscaffardi.blogspot.co.uk/p/about-steven-scaffardi.html
• Stand-up comedy bio: http://stevenscaffardi.blogspot.co.uk/p/stand-up-comedy.html
• Goodreads profile: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/5162103.Steven_Scaffardi
• Amazon profile: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Steven-Scaffardi/e/B006XWRD8Q/
• Twitter: https://twitter.com/SteveScaffardi
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/StevenScaffardiAuthorAndComedian/
• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/Scaff7
• Google+: https://plus.google.com/+StevenScaffardi

Download The Drought from Amazon here and The Flood here for the bargain price of only 99p each.

The Flood (Sex, Love and Dating Disasters Book 2) - Steven Scaffardi

One bet, four girls, eight weeks, multiple dates. What could possibly go wrong?

Following his traumatic eight month dry spell, Dan Hilles is back in the driving seat and ready to put his dating disasters behind him.

But if only it were that simple.

After a drunken afternoon in the pub, fuelled by the confidence of alcohol, Dan makes a bet with his three best pals that will complicate his love-life more than ever when he brazenly declares that he could juggle multiple women all at the same time.

With just eight weeks to prove his point, Dan is about to find out how hard it is to date a flood of women without them all finding out about each other, especially when they come in the shape of an ex-girlfriend, a stalker, the office ice queen and the one that got away.

The Flood is the hilarious follow-up to The Drought by lad lit author Steven Scaffardi, chronicling the adventures of unlucky-in-love Dan Hilles.

What did I think?

After reading The Drought and absolutely loving it, it was only natural that I followed on with the next book in the series, The Flood. Anybody who reads The Drought, must read The Flood as it really is an absolutely hilarious sequel, but The Flood could easily be read as a standalone with no enjoyment lost.

Obviously I don't endorse or encourage promiscuity or cheating on partners but this is a work of fiction and a light-hearted read; it was great fun to read about Dan juggling his ladies and there is a hysterical scene where all four ladies are in the same pub and I could barely read for the tears of laughter running down my face.  It was like an episode of Benny Hill and all that was missing was Dan being chased out of the pub by his ladies...and everybody else in the pub.

There are some weird and wonderful new characters in The Flood who really must get a special mention.  Firstly, Dan's new flatmate, Tuna.  Yes, I really meant to type 'Tuna'.  Tuna is completely lacking in social skills and he's always creeping up on Dan and asking if they can get a dog, like they're an old married couple.  Then there is Dan's new colleague, Ieuan, pronounced Yigh-Un, but the gang call him Iron.  He's led a bit of a sheltered life and Jack sees a great opportunity to play Yoda as he takes Ieuan under his wing and teaches him the ways of beer and women.  With Master Jack in charge, prepare yourself for a bucketful of hilarity.

My favourite character has to be Ollie, as he is so like Neil from The Inbetweeners.  He's innocent in his stupidity and he meets his perfect partner in Steph, who Dan works with.  There is an absolutely brilliant bit where Ollie and Steph discuss stories in the bible - it's an absolute moment of genius from Steven Scaffardi.  The only problem is that Steph has a high-flying banker boyfriend.  How can Ollie compete with him?  I hope it's a 'watch this space' so we can find out more of this story...

There is so much going on in this book that you can never second guess the story.  There is pretty much a laugh on every page, meaning that I frequently had to stop reading to wipe the tears of laughter from my eyes.  Doctors should prescribe The Drought and The Flood as a little pick-me-up.  Guaranteed to put a smile on your face, unless you have no sense of humour, they are definitely going in my pile of 'books to read again'.

Lad Lit may be a niche genre but I think Steven Scaffardi is on to a winner with this series.  I hope to read more about this motley crew and I don't think I will ever get tired of them.  I miss them already and don't think it will be long before I re-read both books.  Try something new today and join in the fun and frivolity of the Lad Lit revolution!

I received this e-book from the author in exchange for an honest review.

My rating:

Buy it from Amazon

The Drought (Sex, Love and Dating Disasters Book 1) - Steven Scaffardi

Steven Scaffardi's The Drought is the laugh-out-loud tale of one man's quest to overcome the throes of a sexual drought. After the stormy break-up with his girlfriend of three years, Dan Hilles is faced with the daunting task of throwing himself back into the life of a single man. With the help of his three best pals, Dan is desperate and determined to get his leg-over with hilarious consequences! 

What did I think?

This is an absolutely hilarious laugh out loud book.  If you love The Inbetweeners, you will absolutely love Steven Scaffardi's The Drought.  If you've ever been out with your girlfriends and wondered what that group of boys looking over were thinking, then you must read this book!

Having once been called an honorary bloke (and I didn't thump the guy who called me that), I didn't hesitate before jumping on the LadLit blog tour when Steven Scaffardi very kindly asked me to participate.  I like my pints (and have my own beer blog), love Formula 1 and enjoy watching my team attempt to play football, but I don't really know what goes on inside a man's head.  Are they really the stronger sex and do they really think about sex all the time?  Well, perhaps those questions will be answered within the hilarious pages of The Drought.

Dan has just broken up with his long term girlfriend, Stacey, but there's always more fish in the sea, isn't there?   It does sometimes feel like Dan is fishing with a hole in his net as each date ends in disaster, resulting in absolutely rib tickling laughter for the reader.  With Dan's friends helping; best mate and babe magnet Rob; Jack with a PhD in 'Ladies'; and intellectually challenged Ollie, he'll have no trouble finding his next conquest, right?  Wrong!!

As Dan gets himself into one scrape after another, I thought the jokes would run out at some stage, but Steven Scaffardi has a Mary Poppins' handbag of hilarity that goes on and on until I had to put the book down from fear of actually splitting my sides!  The group of friends is a perfect blend of lothario and idiot that made me wonder whether I should buy them a round of drinks or run for the hills!

Guys and gals alike will enjoy The Drought.  I enjoyed every single page of it and I felt like I was part of the group; cringing at Dan's disasters and willing him on at every stage.  I couldn't have contained my laughter if I had wanted to - The Drought should come with a warning: 'Do not read in public places'.  If it doesn't make you cry with laughter, you might need to check your pulse.

I received this e-book from the author in exchange for an honest review.

My rating:

Buy it from Amazon