From Police Officer to Medieval Castle Guide… via Britain’s Most Curious Crimes
It started with cake—as most good stories do. Then came the discovery that it’s illegal to chat to the postman for too long, and a spark was ignited.
What followed was a mad quest to break Britain’s strangest laws, spiralling out of control until I hit rock bottom: telling the woman from British Gas I got my energy from bananas.
Dejected, I wandered into a castle, was offered a job, and soon found myself learning that the ideal position in the Middle Ages involved doing a jump, a fart, and a whistle every Christmas. Then, amongst other things, came a monkey ghost, two-fingered gestures, and a knight to remember.
Eventually, I was leading unsuspecting visitors on my own irreverent guided tour of a magnificent medieval castle… and now you can come too!
The past was never this much fun—or this illegal.
What did I think?
Castles, Crime & Cake is one of the funniest books I have ever read and I say 'one of' on purpose as the last time I read a book this funny it was written by none other than John Donoghue.
In this book, John has left the police force and moved down south but he's at a bit of a loose end. After giving a talk to the local WI about what he learned in the police, John decides to see how many archaic laws he can break. I know we have some bonkers laws still in place and it was fascinating to read a fantastic selection of them. To be fair, John could have probably written a whole book about them but the best is yet to come in this hilarious book as the reader is taken on a whistlestop British history tour.
Why history? I hear you ask. Well John has been successful in his application to become a caste guide - it was the unique CV that did it, I'm sure! I do love history (not so much at school as there's only so many hours you can study the Industrial Revolution and the Spinning Jenny) so I positively gobbled up these chapters, only stopping to wipe my eyes from the tears of laughter running down my face.
I defy anyone not to chuckle, laugh or guffaw whilst reading Castles, Crime & Cake; I made the mistake of reading in bed and I had the bed shaking as I tried (unsuccessfully, I might add) to contain my laughter so I didn't wake up my other half. I'm so glad I didn't drink a cuppa whilst reading as I would've been showered in tea.
Hilarious, entertaining and informative, Castles, Crime & Cake is a fantastic memoir that I will be recommending for a very long time (along with John's other books). The book should come with a warning that it is likely to cause uncontrollable laughter so be careful where and when you read it. An easy and well-deserved five stars.
I received a gifted paperback for the Love Books Tours Bookstagram Tour and this is my honest and unbiased opinion.
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About the author:
John Donoghue has served Queen, King, and Country over forty years in the Royal Navy, British Army, and Police. These days, he’s swapped handcuffs for heraldry as a guide at a medieval castle. He also has a dog, Monty, who’s yet to break any known laws, but has taken on the role of farting jester perfectly.
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