BLOG TOUR: Castles, Crime & Cake: A Policeman's Accidental Guide to History - John Donoghue

From Police Officer to Medieval Castle Guide… via Britain’s Most Curious Crimes

It started with cake—as most good stories do. Then came the discovery that it’s illegal to chat to the postman for too long, and a spark was ignited.

What followed was a mad quest to break Britain’s strangest laws, spiralling out of control until I hit rock bottom: telling the woman from British Gas I got my energy from bananas.

Dejected, I wandered into a castle, was offered a job, and soon found myself learning that the ideal position in the Middle Ages involved doing a jump, a fart, and a whistle every Christmas. Then, amongst other things, came a monkey ghost, two-fingered gestures, and a knight to remember.

Eventually, I was leading unsuspecting visitors on my own irreverent guided tour of a magnificent medieval castle… and now you can come too!

The past was never this much fun—or this illegal.

 

What did I think?

Castles, Crime & Cake is one of the funniest books I have ever read and I say 'one of' on purpose as the last time I read a book this funny it was written by none other than John Donoghue.  

In this book, John has left the police force and moved down south but he's at a bit of a loose end.  After giving a talk to the local WI about what he learned in the police, John decides to see how many archaic laws he can break.  I know we have some bonkers laws still in place and it was fascinating to read a fantastic selection of them.  To be fair, John could have probably written a whole book about them but the best is yet to come in this hilarious book as the reader is taken on a whistlestop British history tour.

Why history? I hear you ask.  Well John has been successful in his application to become a caste guide - it was the unique CV that did it, I'm sure!  I do love history (not so much at school as there's only so many hours you can study the Industrial Revolution and the Spinning Jenny) so I positively gobbled up these chapters, only stopping to wipe my eyes from the tears of laughter running down my face. 

I defy anyone not to chuckle, laugh or guffaw whilst reading Castles, Crime & Cake; I made the mistake of reading in bed and I had the bed shaking as I tried (unsuccessfully, I might add) to contain my laughter so I didn't wake up my other half.  I'm so glad I didn't drink a cuppa whilst reading as I would've been showered in tea.

Hilarious, entertaining and informative, Castles, Crime & Cake is a fantastic memoir that I will be recommending for a very long time (along with John's other books).  The book should come with a warning that it is likely to cause uncontrollable laughter so be careful where and when you read it.  An easy and well-deserved five stars.

I received a gifted paperback for the Love Books Tours Bookstagram Tour and this is my honest and unbiased opinion.

My rating:

Buy it from:

Amazon

About the author:

John Donoghue has served Queen, King, and Country over forty years in the Royal Navy, British Army, and Police. These days, he’s swapped handcuffs for heraldry as a guide at a medieval castle. He also has a dog, Monty, who’s yet to break any known laws, but has taken on the role of farting jester perfectly.

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BLOG TOUR: The Attraction Abacus - Evelyn G. Foster

The Attraction Abacus. A dating agency with a difference.

Everything about you summarised as a single score.

Age, looks, intelligence, wealth — the Abacus counts it all.

When doom-dreaming author, Evelyn Foster, accepts an Attraction Abacus flyer from Luke, her world changes overnight. Could Luke be the right guy for Evelyn, and can she help the Abacus become the next global dating agency sensation?

The Abacus owner has a little secret of his own that might disrupt Evelyn's plans.

For fans of the enemies-to-lovers trope, a new, feel-good romantic comedy where love must triumph over adversity and total incompetence.

What’s your number?

 

What did I think?

I rather enjoyed reading The Attraction Abacus, although it wasn't quite what I was expecting (I wanted to know more about the actual attraction abacus) as it's more of a fun and entertaining love story.  I really loved the style of writing; it has a bit of a Bridget Jones feel as the author talks to the reader throughout the book.

I liked Evelyn and think she is very brave to leave a secure, albeit hated, job to join a start-up business.  Sometimes you just have to take a leap and I applauded Evelyn for taking a chance on the Attraction Abacus after Luke hands her a flyer in the street.  

The Attraction Abacus agency is something different in the world of dating where it gives everyone a score.  It's quite thought-provoking as we are so much more than a number but it's also really difficult to meet your other half these days.  I personally don't like the idea of being graded but that's easy for me to say, sitting here secure and happy in my long-term relationship.

The attraction between Evelyn and Luke is clear to see from the start but Luke has a girlfriend and she isn't going to give him up without a fight.  Let the battle commence!  I enjoyed the game playing and one-upmanship - it's entertaining and funny and I bet Luke secretly loved two women fighting over him.

Fun, flirty and very entertaining, The Attraction Abacus is a very enjoyable rom-com and well worth a read.

I received a gifted paperback to read and review for the Love Books Tours Instagram Tour ARC and this is my honest and unbiased opinion.

My rating:

Buy it from:

Foyles

Amazon

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Lockdown - Peter May

 

'They said that twenty-five percent of the population would catch the flu. Between seventy and eighty percent of them would die. He had been directly exposed to it, and the odds weren't good.'

A CITY IN QUARANTINE

London, the epicenter of a global pandemic, is a city in lockdown. Violence and civil disorder simmer. Martial law has been imposed. No-one is safe from the deadly virus that has already claimed thousands of victims. Health and emergency services are overwhelmed.

A MURDERED CHILD

At a building site for a temporary hospital, construction workers find a bag containing the rendered bones of a murdered child. A remorseless killer has been unleashed on the city; his mission is to take all measures necessary to prevent the bones from being identified.

A POWERFUL CONSPIRACY

D.I. Jack MacNeil, counting down the hours on his final day with the Met, is sent to investigate. His career is in ruins, his marriage over and his own family touched by the virus. Sinister forces are tracking his every move, prepared to kill again to conceal the truth. Which will stop him first - the virus or the killers?

Written over fifteen years ago, this prescient, suspenseful thriller is set against a backdrop of a capital city in quarantine, and explores human experience in the grip of a killer virus.

What did I think?

I bought Lockdown as a lockdown 2020 gift for my parents as they are both fans of Peter May.  I love the fact that Peter May wrote this book in 2005 but the publishers thought it was too unrealistic to publish whereas now it is all too realistic as we're living it.  There's actually a rather gruesome part of the book that I found to be a little unbelievable but it certainly wasn't anything to do with the depiction of the pandemic.

The main character of Jack MacNeil is having a bad final day at work: the discovery of a bag of bones have halted construction of a much needed hospital and once again Jack puts work before his family with devastating consequences.  How the story links together is nothing short of brilliant and I was on the edge of my seat throughout but I'll say no more as I don't want to release any plot spoilers in my review.

It's Peter May so it goes without saying that it's well-written but his ability to weave an engaging yet somewhat complex story is second-to-none.  The characters are believable and so incredibly flawed that you can't help rooting for them and the plot is simply breathtaking.  Of course, you can't help but compare and contrast this imaginary pandemic to our very real one but at the end of the day this is fiction and if I wanted to read a book about a real pandemic I would look in the non-fiction section.

It would have been an absolute tragedy for Lockdown to remain unpublished so if there's one good thing to result from the Coronavirus pandemic, this is it!  It's also a stark reminder to pay attention to that all-important work/life balance, which I think many of us have reassessed over the past 18 months.  Brilliant, gripping and stomach-churningly realistic, Lockdown is a must-read for thriller fans.

My rating:

Buy it from:

UK.Bookshop.org

Amazon